Connells Survey & Valuation Reviews 1.036

Friendly, and carried out the inspection within the time allocated.

No problems, quick, efficient and polite.

Very friendly encounter today from the company and the gentleman was very helpful answering any questions I had.

Very friendly, professional and respectful. Explained the whole process perfectly and completed in good time.

The surveyor rang me 10 mins before he arrived. He was polite, courteous and treated my property with respect. I highly recommend.

Great communication. Text message with 90 minute slot the day before. Agent rang 30 minutes before to let me know his ETA. Polite, well mannered. Wore plastic covers over his shoes.

A very friendly and polite surveyor. He was unobtrusive and professional.

Top bloke. Spoke honestly, listened and was thorough.

Quick, friendly, straightforward. No inconvenience at all.

Great experience!
The surveyor Mr Davison is efficient.

Good very pleasure

We have had a survey conducted by Connells previously and we’re happy on both occasions. Professional and friendly service.

Gentleman who valued the property was extremely courteous and respectful,and the report was submitted to the lender without delay.

The overall experience was excellent. Good communications and all done very timely. Thank you to Josh.

Lovely man came today and was all very smooth and easy.

Let’s look at a few of Connells curious comments, presented as an honest opinion on a professional service, with point 10 showing the glaring huge omission from the report that would wrong foot any buyer, so obvious that you would start to question the whole document:

1. “Due to the presence of security grills, we were unable to test any windows”.
Hey Connells, how about taking the keys on a hook right by the window and opening the security grills? After all, would I lock myself if there was a fire.
Use your eyes and initiative please!

2. “We could only do a head and shoulders inspection of the loft space due to partial boarding”.
Hey Connells, you mean the same safely fitted loft space with professionally fitted flooring, in place for 30 years and fully insulated? The loft space is fully boarded and so tall you can walk around up there, but not this surveyor. Care to see a photo?

3. “Insufficient ventilation in the kitchen and some condensation is likely on occupation”.
Hey Connells, if you lift up the blind in the kitchen you will see four windows above the sink, turn around and you will see two doors and even an extractor fan! It is “likely” that it goes dark in the evening, but not something I would get paid for writing about!

4. “The stairs are considered quite steep, and some treads are creaking and require repair”.
Hey Connells, is “quite steep” a technical term or just a vague phrase of negativity chucked in? How would you know that the odd creaking stair definitely requires repair, wouldn’t that be a return to the word “likely”?

5. “Sanitary fittings are dated; you will be renewing them in the near future”.
Hey Connells, are seven-year-old Villeroy & Boch white sinks and toilets priced at £600 each replaced that often? Most UK sanitaryware has a lifespan of 20-50 years, when did a surveyor turn into an opinionated interior designer or does criticising high end, relatively new expensive fittings come “free” with every survey? I see white, you see Avocado. Okay I get it!

6. “The cellar steps are steep worn and uneven and should be used with care”.
Hey Connells, you mean normal incline brick and cement stairs covered completely in carpet and level on a spirit level with no wear as it’s a cellar not a narrow passage to bowels of a medieval castle. That X ray vision and “special” spirit level comes really comes in handy for the fantasy excursion.

7. “Inspection chamber cover could not be lifted”.
Hey Connells, you mean the one which I lift with one finger and no known misuse of steroids or weightlifting as a hobby? It must be just like the windows next to keys that could not be opened!

8. “Water is stored in a tank located in the airing cupboard”.
Hey Connells, nice try but two new huge black shiny plastic tanks are in the loft, which you can see clearly even from your “head and shoulders” viewing, you know the one where you pretend the whole loft space was not boarded.

9. “The radiators are of varying ages. These will fail progressively and then need to be replaced”.
Hey Connells, you mean when radiators fail people don’t just sit there and move house instead? They actually get them replaced. Hold the front page we have a news story! How about every radiator was flushed and cleaned through only two months ago and given a clean bill of health, but hey it must be quite stretch writing about medieval worn staircases, confused by windows that require keys, and now being asked to be a heating engineer, thank god this opinion was not expressed in a paid for report. Oh wait, scrub that…

10. Just to balance this out, at head height right by the kitchen door is an area of damp where the garage touches the outside wall. The smell of stain block, the bubbled paintwork, and a reading on any basic damp meter would indicate a problem you could see from 10 feet away, all obvious but not mentioned.
Hey Connells, was it those steep stairs and heady lack of ventilation was the surveyor was hallucinating at this point!
A 15-year-old labrador with cataracts and a lack of language skills could convey this issue clearly, but alas not this surveyor, in a rush, were we?

What we have is a mixture of the obvious, some sensible comments, then liberally sprinkled with conjecture a lack of initiative ( window keys are by the window!) interior design tips ( replace that sink its 5 years old ) and utter fantasy seeing lofts not professionally boarded and wonky stairs that show up fine using a spirit level. By all means criticise a house but to get paid for this would have me laughing myself stupid from job to job.

Connells, please reach out, I am happy to send you photos, full supporting evidence and even give you a tour. This represents my honest opinion and research against all points of reference, take it as a subjective critique with evidence.

Great, prompt and skilled service from Paul Hearne who has done a few surveys for us now and is always happy to help us to understand the survey and takes the time to explain the findings. We would highly recommend.

The surveyor was very professional
And telephone before to let me know he was on his way. He was punctual and respectful making sure I was aware of what he was doing

Came in polite helpful very professional

Sasha and her colleague were very professional and polite throughout the whole process, thank you.